Mom commentary. When something nice happens, feeling like you deserve it is not that easy. As moms, believing its our turn or accepting moments to ourselves is not as easy as it should be or you would think. In fact, if it has been awhile since we had time to ourselves, then there is a great chance we are highly anxious and not relaxed at all.
Our minds are filled with possibilities of what could be happening at home that we are not able to take care of immediately. An injury that needs cleaning and bandaging. An argument between siblings in need of a referee before someone gets hurt. Helping Dad figure out where the stirring spoon is for the mac-n-cheese. Did someone remember to let the dog out before bedtime? Did anyone grab the mail today? These and a million other thoughts that go through our heads in the moments we are first away from our precious families.
But somewhere there is a friend or spouse or parent nudging us moms to take some time away for ourselves, that we deserve it. In fact, YOU deserve it! In this particular case, it wasn’t that I got to take a real break or spend time away from my family but I took advantage of just a few moments to be alone. Here is an incident that happened to me one night during one of those mommy breaks.
You deserve it…
Getting Out of the House with Kids
One of our favorite restaurants in town is a Mexican place just around the corner. It’s a nice quick walk from home. The staff is always pleasant and the food always great. With having two young children, I am very aware the possibility they may not give us their best restaurant behavior when we want it the most.
We usually try to hit the senior hour or just before 5:00pm. This is to avoid the potential for glares from other customers. And their inevitable wondering why in the world I would dare to bring my children out to dinner. Most of the time there are very few people for the dinner rush that early.
The Tantrums
One summer evening, we did the ritual loading up of the kids. Grabbing sippy cups, bibs and other essentials. Then, headed for our neighborhood spot. As true as it ever is, the kid’s were angels until right before our meal was served. Then came the whining, the climbing, the throwing back of the head, the tossed sippy cup and so on. You have all seen it somewhere.
The waitress brought our dinner in all of this and asked if we would like anything else. I ordered the blended original margarita with a salt rim. I felt guilty for ordering a margarita while dining with my kids. Yet, at that point, I just hoped no one was really paying attention to me. My kids were helping distract the onlookers.
The Candy Store Bribe
With bribes of a trip to the candy store after dinner, the major display of unruliness subsided. I was able to finish my dinner. Our three-year old son loved the candy store, still does! As promised, daddy determined had eaten enough bites of dinner. At least, enough bites to make the candy store trip.
The candy store is just across the street from the Mexican restaurant. It’s a Wonka wonderland full of nostalgic candy. Any trip to the candy store can elicit a serious dent in your budget. Spend a half hour in awe before you ever think about what treat to buy. Anyway, Daddy offered to take our older son. Meanwhile, I stayed behind to take care of the dinner bill and clean up our two year old.
Guilt or Pleasure…Guilty Pleasure?
I figured I had plenty of time to kill so I ordered the forbidden second margarita. I drank it down in peace and slowly felt the tension in my shoulders melting away. Our little guy had worn himself out with his fit. Eventually, succumbing to a full belly so was now quite content. Finally, daddy and Aidan strolled back through the door of the restaurant. It had been a successful trip to the candy store.
As we gathered our things and went to the cashier, another older couple stood to leave. There had been only three parties in the restaurant including us. The couple joined us at the cashier desk.
Parting Words…
As we finished paying our bill and turned to exit, the man said to me, “You deserved that second margarita.” I didn’t know if I should cry, laugh, or shout “Hallelujah!”. My indiscretion had been noted but more importantly in that moment it had been justified.
Response Magic