Everyone has a full plate. That is what I believe with every fiber of my being. I have had people comment to me they don’t know how I do it. In my mind, I think, do what? For me, I observe someone and think how easy her life must be with all that seems perfect. Yet I learn of an underlying issue that has others concerned for her. Then I watch as a family loads into their rugged vehicle and by all appearances, this family is struggling. Or I see a severely disabled person and the parent or caregiver devoted to providing for all the disabled person’s needs. I wonder about the quality of life for all these people. Yes, everyone has a full plate.
There’s More
Not only do I believe everyone has a full plate, but it is just half of my belief. The other half is that the plate is only full based on how the person accepts what is presented and how the person chooses to deal with the circumstances. That is why when someone tells me I have a full plate, I don’t think it is nearly as full as others I have seen. I have a perspective of my situation which makes it routine life. Frequently, I witness somebody else dealing with much more demanding situations. To me, I can’t fathom having that type of endurance, mentally and physically, especially emotionally.
The Victim Role
A person who dwells in the negatives of life, in my opinion, plays the victim role. I would agree this person most likely has been a victim of something at some point in life. In fact, I believe each of us has been a victim of something at least once. Even the most perfect person has been flipped off by a road rage driver, therefore is a victim of rudeness at the very least. Yes, I admit it too. Now and then, I feel sorry for myself. I yearn for pity. Why? Because we all need a sense of connection to others.
When we receive attention, it gives us validation of our existence and that someone cares about our well-being. However, the person who habitually lives with a focus of being the victim makes him or herself the biggest victim. This happens far more than anyone else can victimize anyone.
Whether a victim or in the victim role, the person should reach out for connection. When negativity over takes life, it can become life threatening. We see proof of this all too frequently these days with the horrific acts of school shooters. Enough is enough is enough! And if not taking the lives of others, many people commit suicide.
Suicide Prevention
It is up to our communities to be aware of one another. We need to look out for each other. I was shocked to hear of two recent celebrity suicides, Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. More shocking is learning suicide rates have drastically increased across the nation. In Idaho, the rate of suicide over the last four years has increased over 40%. Yet, Idaho finally has a suicide hotline. Years went by without this great resource and now that it is in place and available, the rate rises?
We are fortunate to also have The Speedy Foundation. Jeret “Speedy” Peterson was a three-time aerial-skier Olympian taking home a silver medal in 2010 after his astounding “Hurricane” trick. He was from Boise, Idaho. Speedy had his demons. Unfortunately, he experienced tragedies in his youth turning him into a victim. Eventually, he turned to alcohol not just for the partying but as a means of self-medicating. After years of struggling with depression and other issues, he took his own life in July 2011. (I am uncertain of his own self-awareness his alcohol use was self-medicating. However, I am not writing to relay his story. I give a personal nod to him. Also, to voice my admiration and support of his family in creating The Speedy Foundation in his honor).
The Speedy Foundation has done a remarkable job in developing suicide awareness training. It is available for community members as well as professionals. I have heard medical professionals surprised to attend the trainings and walk away with new pearls of wisdom. It turns out you CAN teach an old dog new tricks!
If you are someone contemplating suicide, please reach out to anyone, anywhere, anytime. For all of us, don’t walk around with ignorance or an attitude of “I don’t want to get involved”. A simple act of kindness, a complimentary word, a smile, acknowledgement is all it takes to make a difference in someone’s life.
Make your life count by being your best you
– helping others!
Books are great resources for learning more about what it takes to be a caregiver. You can also learn more about victims, alcoholism and suicide.
CAREGIVER SERIES RELATED ARTICLES
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Who Cares for the Caregiver #3
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