Coffee with the Ladies is a gem for me. It represents a sisterhood, a gathering, a time for catching up with friends. It covers the times we need our friends and the times we make new friends.
Coffee with the Ladies began for me at a very young age living the summers with my grandparents. My mom went to summer school to earn her Nurse Practitioners certifications. That kind of education wasn’t readily available to everyone and my mom was presented a wonderful opportunity, so she grabbed the bull by the horns and went for it. My grandparents were highly supportive of her advancing her education and offered to keep us rug-rats while she was away.
My grandpa flew his small airplane in the mornings as a fire-lookout over the mountain ranges in North Idaho. At noon, the siren from the only firehouse in town sounded out its warning. Every day. With the noon bell, we knew grandpa would be home for a bowl of soup, a cup of black coffee and two whole sandwiches. It didn’t matter what kind of soup or what kind of sandwiches. The coffee freshly made in one of those old style pots with a percolator on top. After his lunch and coffee, he left to deliver mail for the US Post office driving to the rural areas, out to the farms and such.
Grandma on the other hand, she stayed home with us. She wrote for the local newspaper providing updates on the activities and happenings around the community with the local families. She reported whose family had out of town relatives come visit, when there were announcements of engagements, whose child made an honor roll or won a prize at the 4H or the county fair. I recall her sitting at her phone desk calling around from friend to friend to friend over the party line to see if anyone knew any news. Yes, it was as much gossip as it ever was news. However, it made the news and people were happy to share their happenings with her.
But now and again, we would take our walks to town. The intent? Coffee with the Ladies. She had a group of 4 or 5 ladies that would meet regularly. Not everyone came each time. Most of the time there would be three ladies, but every once in awhile there were as many as six or seven. My brother and I loved to tag along. While the ladies had coffee, we had our choice between a hot chocolate or a 7up. Since grandpa only had his coffee black, I was always curious why the ladies would add cream and sugar — one lump, maybe two. See, back then, the sugar was served as sugar squares. It seems now the sugar is in a glass jar, with or without a spoon provided, or in pre-measured paper packets. Nobody used honey for their coffee though. Only the tea drinkers used honey.
It was so long ago now, I have a hard time remembering if it was always the same place; but I believe it was and has been remodeled over the years. It seemed to me we walked in a door and past a long bar with stools. When you see the 50’s style coffee shops in movies, or like Mel’s diner — from that show called “Alice” from the 70’s where the red-headed character named Flo would tell the cook, Mel, to “KISS HER GRITS”. Instead of being an open diner though, it was the long narrow bar with a couple of small tables for two along the wall opposite the bar, then the floor stepped up into this small room without any windows. It was a carpeted room and looked barren and old itself. The tables were brown, the chairs were brown with metal legs.
Undoubtedly, the others were there first because we dawdled along the way. Stopping first at the US MAIL POST OFFICE to pick up our mail in PO Box 333. Sightseeing in every big window shop. All the shops were so fascinating to me. I loved the old-fashioned drug store because you buy candy, books, fancy bowls for decoration on tables that you dare not touch. Medicines and dolls, fire trucks and ceramics to paint. The in door on the right, the out door on the left with a jingling bell at the top so everyone could hear each time a door opened and closed. A small town of 800 or so had a ton to offer a young girl under 10 years old.
I remember sitting at the table with the ladies. All of them with their cups of coffee talking away. I suppose I listened to them back then and learned all sorts of things about the other people in town I didn’t know. Mostly, I recall watching each of them. Looking at their eyes, their hair, the wrinkles on their faces. I wondered who these women had been. Curious as I was, I was too shy to ever inquire. But I had my imagination that some had worked on farms milking cows. Others were at home cooking in long dresses and long aprons all the time. I couldn’t imagine them as silly young girls, but I wondered…did they play with dollies? Did they pretend kittens were babies like I did?
I will never know those answers to my questions. However, in their honor, I consider them my ladies too and I carry on the tradition of coffee with the ladies. I haven’t been as group oriented with my coffee and my friends, but I have had some great ritual coffee dates.
For a long time, I would visit one friend, she is older than myself. Slightly older than my mom. I had lived with her and her family in Seattle years ago. I had moved back home and the years to follow brought her family home too. When they moved back, I went over regularly for coffee. We sat watching the TODAY show together and drinking coffee and visiting. It was a very special time to me. She always treated me well as if I was the daughter she never had. But we became best friends too.
Then in college, I lucked out and befriended someone with my same name, Traci. Although she spelled hers differently and was much younger than I. Our class schedule was so similar; and we had a break between classes. Obviously, the best option for us both was to have coffee and visit. Our coffees were a little extra compared to my grandma and her friends. We had syrups, caramel and chocolate, whip cream, skinny milk, no foam. And an espresso bean! Since neither of us were library bandits, except when we had to be, our coffee time was indulgent time. And like my grandma and her friends, there were a couple other girls, excuse me…ladies, to join us. We were a modern day “Coffee with the Ladies”. Unfortunately, graduation took us all in different directions. How I long for those coffee breaks now with my ladies.
I have one other friend whom I give the honored title to as my bestie. That’s what they call a Best Friend nowadays, a Bestie. For she is not Coffee with the Ladies, nope. She is my one and only…Coffee and a Dead Cat. This is a story entirely worthy of its own telling.
Needless to say, our coffee time has been time for us to bond, time for tears of joy, tears of sorrow. Our coffee time has provided the moments for me to BE ON TIME FOR MYSELF. It has been the gem of my memories. My friendships embraced. Whether it is Coffee with the Ladies, Lunch with the Ladies, Wine with the Ladies – it’s a special time! And you can have them all at once…coffee, lunch and wine – all with the Ladies!
For that, I recommend being on time FOR YOURSELF DAILY and creating a habit of once a month, three to four hours, with your friends. If you can swing it, go for the once a week with your friends. Ladies…are you ready to meet for Coffee? My place or yours? Attire: Jammies, robes and slippers! Bring your hair in curlers. I’ve got the coffee mugs and dark roast coffee, you bring the cream and sugar.
Special dedication to ALL my coffee ladies, those from memories when I was a child to those through the years! I love you all so dearly! And here’s to many more dates and many more new friends — Let’s Have Coffee with the Ladies!
Why? Because as us girls know, we rejuvenate each other! Now, bring on the coffee and the wine and then we are all FINE!!! (oh, yes, wine is fine for us ladies too)!
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