The single’s plan for Valentine’s Day is an essential guide to happiness and self-appreciation. It is our duty and obligation to LOVE THY SELF FIRST! Here is the plan to guide you on celebrating the YOU in your life on a day focused on love.
Qualified Single Lady on Valentine’s Day
What makes me a person able to guide a single’s plan for Valentine’s Day? It’s all in my own life history. It equates to enough solo Valentine’s Day experiences to have some expertise on the matter.
A few years in my early twenties I joined other single friends at the bars seeking single males. Forever hoping a hot-looking guy would buy that long-stem single rose from the flower lady and give it to me. Usually, us girlfriends ended up at Denny’s restaurant for coffee and fries. (That Super Bird sandwich was good too).
Then, there were times spent as a third wheel with a couple here or another couple there. Mostly, this old third wheel was a unicycle put to rest on the garage floor while I was on the couch in the dark by myself wondering if I was ever going to find someone to love me!
Love Yourself First; #1 of the Single’s Plan for Valentine’s Day
No doubt, someone has said to you, “remember, you have to love yourself first before you can love anybody else”. As a young teen evolving into a young woman, that was the advice of my older friends and elder female relatives. It was a common theme in numerous books on how to attract Mr. Right. And I read as many as I could.
Youthful Visions of My Future
My dream of being married goes way back. I was ten years old when I made it my plan. By my ten-year-old calculations, I would graduate from high school, turn 18 following graduation, attend college (the 4-year plan), then GET MARRIED. This meant I would be married somewhere around the age of 23.
Oh, the 10-year-old dreamer continued the plan with a white picket fence, two-story house, children, cats and dogs too. I would be a stay at home mom and volunteer at my kids’ school and be a classroom mom. At that time (by my 10-year-old perspective), the only working moms that could “stay at home” were Avon and Mary Kay ladies. Plus, babysitters (daycare).
Fast Forward Life
Ironically, the only part of my plan that was not contingent on a timeline is the only part of my plan that worked out to be true. And I love working from home with the flexibility to be there for my kids as needed. Even more irony to life, I attended four years of college, graduated too.
Tried the Avon thing for a year. Yet, my career now has nothing to do with anything I ever studied or done or dreamt of doing in my life. Although, the education I have received on the job, in my opinion, has been as valuable as any college education.
The Adjusted Life Plan
True, life did not happen as planned. This is more common than most people under the age of thirty will believe. Possibly even 40! I adjusted my life plan a few times. My home does not have a fence and is single-story. My long-term relationship has not resulted in marriage. However, we created two wonderful children and have taken in three cats; but no dogs.
I was 37 years old when I finally met my other half. Unfortunately, due to a hereditary medical diagnosis called Huntington’s Disease, my other half is unlikely to be the one I walk with into the sunset. His disease has progressed far enough along, I hesitate to count on him still being with us in five years. For that reason, I count my blessings now…and daily! Alas, my single days are coming again.
The Single’s Plan for Valentine’s Day
Create a Loving Valentine’s Day
There is not a good reason on the face of this earth why a single person cannot create a loving Valentine’s Day. Hence, the single’s plan for Valentine’s Day. First, note the difference between “Romantic” and “LOVING”. (See A Couple’s Plan for Creating a “Romantic” Valentine’s Day). I am not opposed to people romancing themselves either. But that can lead to many interpretations for which I am not opening a dialogue for on this platform. Just know, generally, romantic connotations in this instance, refer to affectionate interaction between two people.
Real Loving, however, encompasses respect, honesty, consideration, empathy, loyalty. Where unconditional feeling and unconditional acceptance are key. Loving comes from a place of confidence, not fear, envy or jealousy. It thrives on a soul with want in the heart, not need. And a person with this kind of love gives time and attention to oneself. And this is LOVING YOURSELF FIRST!
Plan Ahead – Make it YOUR Single’s Plan for Valentine’s Day
Give Yourself Time
Step 1: Break Away from Your Routine
Get out of your comfort zone and have an adventure. Travel is one of the best ways you can experience adventure. Explore a new country. If that big of a trip is daunting or too much to swing, then travel to a new state. Somewhere you have never been. Make it across the country.
There is more value to a travel experience than you can imagine. When we visit and experience cultures outside our own, we learn acceptance and compassion. We, referring to all of us as human beings. It’s like that old saying, “walk a mile in my shoes before you judge me”.
Be on Time for Yourself
In loving yourself, travel provides you life education and with it comes personal growth. Breaking from your routine to give yourself attention, living precious hours or days doting on only yourself. This action supports positive mental health, stability and balance. Personally, I believe travel also helps a person build boundaries. Understanding how adventurous to be, determining how much of a risk is worth the experience versus staying safely cocooned in your routine as life happens around you. Not only is this part of the single’s plan for Valentine’s Day, i recommend you make it a regular part of your life.
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The Weekend Getaway for the Single’s Plan for Valentine’s Day
The Next Best Thing to Traveling…
The Weekend Getaway in your own backyard! Not literally, but figuratively. Find a nice hotel with a jacuzzi suite and room service. Go spend a night pampering yourself in a hotel room. Find a place downtown and wander the city, window-shopping, dining at the best restaurants or having coffee in the quaint hidden gem cafés. Who knows…you might me someone there! Oh, the irony of that thought. After all, loving yourself and having confidence is attractive.
Worth Every Penny
Once, many years ago, I had a week’s paid vacation owed to me. There was nobody in my life at the time. Most of my girlfriends were married. I couldn’t afford a big trip anywhere. Instead, I drove a couple hours to a small town not far from home. Because I traveled during the week, the suites were empty AND discounted! It was March, maybe April – after Valentine’s Day.
I bought groceries from the store a couple blocks away. Enough I could get by on what I had and then splurge for just a couple extravagant room service meals. My preference was breakfast. There is nothing like having breakfast served to you (your room) and sitting in bed in your pajamas eating it.
Time Spent
In the afternoons, I took scenic drives periodically stopping to take pictures of something that struck my fancy. Landscapes, Wildlife scenery, Buildings…and such. Back to the hotel by dinner time and I read my books. Indulged in mindless television and listened to music.
A Jacuzzi Incident
The best part of giving to myself was the jacuzzi incident. I brought my own candles. The music was playing, I was preparing for total relaxation. Turned on the water, filled the tub, started those jets up. Then I climbed in the tub, slid down into the water and let those jets massage my back and my feet. It felt great. Sipping on my wine, I felt a peaceful bit of heaven. Being on time for myself was divine and magical!
I must have been there for well over an hour before I determined re-heating the water for the third or fourth time was probably enough hot tub time. Climbing out of the tub, I still couldn’t find the turn-off for the jets. After consideration, I figured they must be on a timer. But I had pushed the button so frequently to keep the massage going, I never gave it time to automatically shut off.
I must have been there for well over an hour before I determined re-heating the water for the third or fourth time was probably enough hot tub time. Climbing out of the tub, I still couldn’t find the turn-off for the jets. After consideration, I figured they must be on a timer. But I had pushed the button so frequently to keep the massage going, I never gave it time to automatically shut off.
Jetted Panic
Over and over, I tried to see if there was another way to shut the jets off. It was my last night there and check-out time was 11:00AM. Easily, the time had flown by and I was approaching the wee hours. I needed to rest before I had to get up and go. Blowing out the candles, turning the music off, I felt confident the automatic shut-off was bound to happen soon. Nope! It kept humming along. I began feeling a sense of panic rise within me.
Horrified, I convinced myself I was going to have to call the front desk and sound really stupid! Now, if there is one feeling we can all relate to…it’s that dreaded feeling of looking like an idiot in front of others. It’s called embarrassment! What’s worse is being the cause to your own embarrassment. Take that secret guilty pleasure you never share with anyone (one of mine – straight butter salt) and admit it to the last person on earth you want to know a thing about you.
Long story short, I couldn’t bear to call the front desk. I was determined to figure it out. After a considerably long time and no automatic shut-off, I started pressing buttons again. I don’t remember exactly what the situation was with the buttons, but I did, in fact, eventually hit a button that turned the jets off. Relief gushing through me as the water was draining from the tub!
Step 2: Buy Yourself Flowers
Surround yourself with Nature’s Beauty
It’s the perfect time of year to bring in a bit of freshness. The dreariness of winter has set in, the thrills and frills of the holidays are behind us. Let Valentine’s Day be a joyous break from the hum drum of the New Year.
Try this idea on yourself – send yourself a fresh floral arrangement once a month! It doesn’t need to be a monstrous bouquet. Just a touch of freshness to brighten your space. Pick a favorite flower, like a tulip, and have a half-dozen tulips sent every four weeks. Or go with a small vase or coffee mug of carnations and lilies.
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Step 3: Select the Finest Chocolates and Finest Wines
Oh, sweetheart! You and I both know you deserve the finest of chocolates and wine EVERYDAY! Do NOT hold yourself back on this one. Understand this clearly, you as a single person have the advantage here…hands down!
The couples out there are waiting for this to be gifted to them once a year. When they are lucky enough, it might happen for a few other special days or moments, but this combination is kind-of-a-once-a-year-deal.
Please, stop that nonsense! You don’t have to wait around for anyone. Give yourself the gift of chocolate and wine. Then, when you meet someone, you can share if it pleases you. This is the single’s plan for Valentine’s Day, remember…about loving yourself first?
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Step 4: Buy Yourself Something…Splurge
February shopping is AWESOME
There are deals everywhere. The big box stores are still trying to unload winter stuff to bring in the new spring stuff. Winter jackets, sweaters, cozy slippers – all that is on CLEARANCE now. Meanwhile, the freshest fashions with the trending colors of the new season are being introduced. When you see an item, you want…give yourself a Valentine’s gift!
A new tennis racket? A fresh cologne or perfume? Sure! It’s your choice. You know you aren’t going to gift yourself something you don’t like. No need to fret about hurting feelings when you re-gift because you won’t be re-gifting what you know you want!
It just so happens, if jewelry is what you want…or jeweled accessories, those are hot sales in February too! Plus, after the winter holidays, Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day are the hottest times of year to buy jewelry. And saving money while gifting is a great feeling even better when gifting oneself! Be on the lookout for incredible Valentine’s Day SAVINGS!
Step 5: Dinner and a Movie for One
Torture for One Please
I am all for dinner and a movie for one. Not at home. But also, not on Valentine’s Day. Why put yourself through the misery of either:
- People staring at you because you are alone at the restaurant and theater?
- You feeling as if everyone is staring at you because you are alone at the restaurant and theater?
Look, when you are single long enough you start to realize all the things you want to do and are missing out on because you have nobody to go with you. It happens. About the mid-twenties, your friends are hooked up. In long-term relationships, getting married, having kids, establishing careers. The late-night parties and weekends going dancing are on a back burner. Instead, couples get together with other couples. Couples with kids get together with other couples with kids. It gets lonely. Not to mention boring. And old
I was there. When I did convince a friend to come out for a girls’ night out, she was ready to go home by 11:00pm. For me, I was just getting warmed up ready to hit the dance floor. Finally getting a bit of liquid courage to buy a cute guy a drink and strike up a conversation. But that only made my friend miss her husband more. If I went with a guy friend, I couldn’t meet anyone either.
The Eye Opener
It really hit home for me when surveying my own life’s activities at 32-33 years old, my routine was on the clock predictable and anti-social. The alarm went off the same time every weekday morning. I left home to make it to work at the same time every day. I went directly home after work. Ate dinner and watched TV with my mom and my grandma each night. I had moved back home after going to college later in life as a non-traditional student. In other words, an old person that didn’t go to college after high school but later in life. It’s okay, I never was the sorority or dorm room type anyway. I loved living my college experience off-campus.
Grandma rarely lasted through the 10:00 o’clock news. Mom and I would stay up and watch it though. Now and then, we had a glass of wine or two, or a couple of beers. But she wasn’t much for staying up late either and headed for bed mid-way through The Tonight Show. Mom liked Jay Leno so she tried to stay up at least for his monologue.
There I was again. Alone. Watching the rest of The Tonight Show and then Late Night with Conan O’Brien. Nobody to call. My bed cold and oversized for me alone. I was missing all the great movies I wanted to see. Not checking out the new restaurants I wanted to try. Craving my favorite dishes from others and shrugging it off feeling submissive to the circumstances of life.
Adjusting the Plan, Reinventing Me – Inception of the Single’s Plan for Valentine’s Day
Enough is enough! I needed to get out and get a life…as my mom would say, “for crying out loud”! So, I did! I started going out on a Monday or Tuesday night. These nights are less likely to be super busy. Therefore, fewer people could stare at me and pity me, assuming I had been stood up.
The Restaurant
At the restaurant, I requested a table out of the spotlight. Often, near the restrooms to ease the restroom commute if needed. Ultimately, drawing less attention to myself.
Plus, by pushing the spare set(s) of tableware and linens aside making it clear I was not expecting anyone to join my party. I ordered what I wanted and requested a box with my order. This way I could box up half my dinner and feel less subconscious of anyone judging my eating habits.
The Theater
It was the same at the movie theaters. Consequently, I would arrive extra early. Get in and find a seat up toward the top and off to the side. Out of the view of others. It felt strange to have a couple sitting behind me. Back to that feeling they are feeling sorry for me that I am alone. NO. In fact, that couple probably didn’t think twice about me at all. It turns out, I was the one feeling sorry for myself!
The Results of Facing Single-hood Fears
It took a while to get used to doing things by myself. Eventually, I became accustomed to it and not only did it not bother me anymore, I began to prefer it! Especially the movies. Fortunately, we have this great little theater in Boise, Idaho called The Flicks! They show the best shows – Oscar noms, practically every one of them. Literary works, true artistry on film, intellectual, astounding movies. With wine!
This became my Monday night ritual. I would come home from work, get in comfy clothes, eat dinner with mom and grandma most of the time. Then, head out to the late movie. Sometimes, I skipped dinner because The Flicks also serves food.
Now, imagine this, feeling confident enough to go to a movie you want to see, have a bite to eat with a glass of wine. Then, get another glass of wine. Take the wine INTO the theater with you to enjoy during the movie. Watch the whole movie. Notably, you are one of maybe five people in the theater. Luckily, I have had the whole theater to myself on a couple occasions. Why? Because I picked the last show playing on the quietest night of the week.
Non-Traditional Dinner and a Movie for One for Valentine’s Day
Delivery Services
Stay home! That is right! Look up your options for delivery services. And for more timely service, place your order earlier in the day with a requested delivery time frame. If you ask for dinner at 7:30pm on a night like Valentine’s, you will be disappointed when it comes at 8:00pm, or later. But you can ask for delivery between 7:00pm-8:00pm and they will more than likely get it to you as requested. At least that has been my experience with Doordash and GrubHub.
Having done this for many years, pizza by yourself is over-rated. Chinese food is where its at! Have them bring you a pair of chopsticks. Practice, practice, practice – while nobody is watching you! I spent years as a server in Chinese restaurants and still to this day have not come even close to proficient at using them. Mexican food works well too. In fact, let the beans work through your system without victimizing another person, subjecting only yourself and your poor pets to the wrath of your digestion and gaseous releases!
Streaming Videos
As for your movies, Netflix is as hot as it has ever been with streaming videos. If there isn’t a movie catching your interest, go back and binge watch a season of one their blockbuster programs. Same with Hulu, HBO, Amazon Prime and several other networks.
You don’t have to take turns picking out the next movie. No negotiating to find a show you and another person will both enjoy. It’s ALL YOU BABY!
You might not be single forever. Therefore, take advantage of the moments you can be selfish and indulge yourself without being in the midst of company that could be offended by your independence and self-regard. This is not you as a stingy or stuck-up or inconsiderate person. This is about you giving attention to yourself, being on time for you. Loving yourself!
In Mixed Company
Obviously, when you are in the company of others, you resort back to making compromises, negotiating, and periodically, putting other people’s needs ahead of your own. Yet, you need to stand your ground for yourself, be stingy enough to give yourself time. Allowing yourself the opportunity for balance.
If you are still stuck on what to watch, Valentine’s Day is great for watching horror flicks. Scary stories. Stuff like Bigfoot! It was my regular go-to keeping my mind far from anything sappy that might instigate a depressed mood.
Step 6: Ending the Night with a Hot Soaking Bath
Finally, after a long day, draw yourself a hot bath. Get out your fancy spa minerals and artisan soaps. Dip your toes in first, then climb the rest of the way in and just relax. Rest your head on a spa pillow. Let nature’s nurturing work on you through these finely crafted bath and body products.
While you are enjoying this hot soak, finish your glass of your favorite wine. Indulge yourself in one or two more pieces of chocolate. Reflect on your day and all for which you feel gratitude. Hence, tomorrow is another day!
CONGRATULATIONS!
You achieved giving the loved one in your life…
YOU
…A LOVING VALENTINE’S DAY!
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